Rebel Without a Cause. Yet.

There are days when I have to firmly tell myself, “Courtney Colin. Act your age, not your shoe size.” However, the times I am acting beyond immature are indeed the times I rebel against any and all orders, even if they are orders I am giving myself. I part my hair on the other side just to spite God knows who. I try to take a different route to school, go exceedingly astray, and arrive ten minutes late to class. I eat cookie dough for lunch and wash it down with a big, fizzing glass of off-brand Dr. Pepper (Hoorah, Dr. Thunder!).

Then there are days when I skip along through my routine, content to feel ordinarily productive as I cross each task off my to-do list. I take notes in Biology like the straight-A student I used to be. I drive the speed limit from school to Mission Adelante, where I take approximately 3 to 7 1/2 deep breaths before stepping out of my car. I pass the dumpster that takes on distinct smells depending on the day of the week, and the amount of rain, before reaching the back door that is left unlocked for me. Most of the time. And from there, the rest of my day passes in a happy blur of knock-knock jokes, sweaty children, and excessively difficult math worksheets.

I wish I could say that following God’s purpose has made my life simple. But truthfully, it has become quite complicated as I search for the balance between doing what I have to do to keep everyone happy, doing what I need to do to keep myself moving forward, and doing what I want to do to keep the world from eating me alive.

So while I content myself with rebelling on occasion in order to counter the monotony of having all those gross things we like to call responsibilities, I am beginning to understand that perhaps I am rebelling against all the wrong things. Jesus was, in my opinion, the greatest rebel of all time. But he was a rebel with a cause. So if I carry the What Would Jesus Do mantra in my heart, then I need to find my cause. And I need to stop wasting my time waging petty wars on insignificant details.