“And then, God takes his toothbrush and just (enthusiastic scrubbing sounds) on our hearts!” the indomitable Axel Flores informed us with enthusiasm.
“Correct!” I said with a delighted laugh, helpless in the face of child-like logic. “And what else does God do to help us when we stumble and fall? What was his plan to take us up to heaven with him, even though sometimes our hearts get dirty?”
Chimes of, “Jesus! He sent Jesus!” filled our slightly-uncomfortably-heated-and-smelling-a-little-like-a-sweaty-Axel-Flores room. Some spontaneous applause joined in with giddy laughter as we looked around at each other, feeling quite pleased with ourselves.
Every Thursday night, Group 3 of Kids Adelante completes me. To quote an equally overly quoted line from that same movie, ‘they had me at hello.’ And now, after six months, they continue to right every wrong in my unbalanced world…
A few weeks ago, a best friend of mine took his own life. When he did, he took a part of me with him. I don’t want that piece of my heart back because I could never bear to give it to another, but I would gladly give my own breathe, my own heartbeat, to have Ryan walk back through my front door and into my arms again. I’m still entirely broken. I’m still desperate for a different reality every morning. But I’m still here.
I’ve lost someone I never thought I’d have to live without. I’ve also realized I was sent these little angels to carry me through. Like they say, when God closes a door, He opens a window. I can see the light streaming through, but it seems so high. I just don’t know how to find my way to it on my own…Maybe all my babies are here to teach me how to fly.
Rest in Peace, my darling. You'll be in my heart forever and for always.
